Queers and Allies → Discussion•
Does porn makes sex addict?


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GarpMay 22, 2005 9:31pm
No doubts, since everybody can get any porn he wants, the gay part of the society is more and more sex oriented. Sex isn't anymore a expression of love but a hobby or sport. It does not mean anything to have sex with somebody, it is empty. Agree?

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CoffeeMay 23, 2005 4:18am
Ummm... no. I'd disagree with this argument on several points. One, the major boost to porn in the US came in 2 waves. The first in the late 70's/early 80's, when sex on film went mainstream and porn mags became available just about everywhere. But the sexual revolution took place before that. Porn couldn't have been the driving force in the 50's with the beatniks, or during the 60's free-love era, or the early 70's gay-lib era. Thus, porn itself has nothing to do with it.

The problem has to do with definitions. A gay person is defined in terms of sex. What makes me different from the people I work with? Just the fact that I prefer to sleep with members of my own sex. Consequently, what is my sense of identity built upon? Sex.

The US is, and has been (sometimes moreso, sometimes less so) sexually phobic. We fear, even hate, sex. It's a symbol of un-christian things. We associate it with a lack of ethics/morals, with drug use, with hurting others for our own person gain. In a word, the culture of the US believes sex to be evil.

Thus, a person who is defined in terms of sex is defined in terms of evil. This causes alot of the guilt the gay community has to deal with, as well as alot of the predjudice we have to face from the outside.

In the early 70's gay men had sex very promiscously, and it was seen as liberating, because this act meant you were revelling in your identity, that it wasn't evil, and that it was in fact normal.

Then came AIDS. Human beings believe in god(s) because the fact that there is much about the universe that no-one understands scares the shit out of them. God makes for a tidy explanation. Did you have a good day? Give credit to god. A bad day? Blame god. Better yet, assume that this god is so on top of it all (because believing he wasn't would imply that there is no order, and thus no purpose or point) that if you are having a bad day, it's because you did something wrong and god is punishing you. Disease has always been seen as divine judgement.

AIDS therefore was seen as divine wrath. In order to invoke divine wrath, you must first be evil. US culture believes sex is evil. Gay community has lots of sex. Therefore, AIDS is merely a condemnation for having had lots of sex.

So the belief that promiscuity is evil has led us to the present day. The question is, do you buy into that idea? Do you honestly think that sex is evil, or something to feel guilty or ashamed of? Or is it a kind of sex that you think is evil, namely sex with more than one person?

The second wave came with the internet. That created all new ethical dillemas, like is it evil to like kink, or is it evil to have cybersex?

Personally, I think that we've got it all backwards. Disease often follows major battles in time of war. But we don't associate it with divine retribution for having engaged in violence. That's because the US not only views violence not as evil, but in fact as good. We worship violence. Look at the movies. We'll assign a PG (maybe PG-13) rating to an extremely violent movie, but have two men kiss and it gets an R. And don't even think about showing a penis in the film.

But violence creates only death. Sex creates love, which in my mind is equivalent to life. I'd rather you be sexual than violent. I think the US would be a better place to live if we all were sexual and non-violent.

Wouldn't it be a better world if we handled our negotiations with affection and not the threat of destruction? If, instead of being motivated by fear, we were motivated by arousal? Less George Bush, more Jack Kennedy?

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BildoJun 12, 2005 6:36pm
Does posession of food make one fat?

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WraywolfJun 17, 2005 10:48am
Very eloquently put, Coffe. Brava!

But does porn make a sex addict? Personal experience has made me doubt that severely.

When my libido first started its activities, my sexual spectrum, for a lack of better words, exploded. Overnight I became an omnisexual, anything relating directly or indirectly to sex sent me into some bizarre obsession, be it female, male, animal, doorknob, whatever.

But, as I progressed in years, my virility slowly calmed. I became more exclusive in my sexual tastes, and anyone with the ability to summon up my internet surfing history from adolescent years would be able to see it. I looked at a LOT of porn, and indeed I was a kind of sex addict, as a boy of 12-14 usually is.

Then, and I don't know exactly when, I became severely less sexual and my libidinous fixation gave way to a platonic complex, one I still have today. I look at porn rather consistently, but being in love and caring/being cared about is the majority of my fantasies. I evolved in the stereotypical path of a pervert. Just in reverse.

If I had to make a theory about the relation of porn and sex addiction, I'd say it would be very similar, if not identical, to my views on violent videogames causing bloodthrist. There really isn't anything that an external media can implant into a persons mind if an affinity for it wasn't already there in the first place. More than anything an obsession with porn/violent games would only be a /reflection/ of a personality that puts an unreasonable amount of stock in such things. My view is, as long as it's kept in a fictional contex within a circle of developed minds, there isn't an idea that could be innately harmful. Any base actions supposedly cultivated by an external source is still perpetrated by the individual, and thus all responsibility lies with him/her.

Also, Coffe, I'd like to point out that America only condones violence against the right (or wrong, depending on your stigmata) kind of people. ;)
RokbernApr 7, 2007 4:58pm
First of all. What is wrong with Sex. I love Porn and frankly I love sex. I am convinced that it is not because I am gay. Some can get addicted to anything. Actually I think more people are addicted to food. Should they completely stop eating food forever like an alcholic? Enjoy Porn and Sex and Life. Its all good.

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NoeyApr 15, 2007 3:52am
I personally do not think that porn, a sex addict makes.
Certainly we can agree that visual stimulation is the media of the masses?!
When Virtual Reality takes over the sex industry - then we should start worrying...

Addiction?

Does the porn STOP you from working, having family, doing things you usually find joy in?

Here's my personal thoughts...

If you're into porn, find someone who shares your interests.
The internet is a great way to say what you want, and get it.

If you are, indeed, fascinated by doorknobs, rest assured that there are a million folks out there just like you who can't wait to share their knobbing dreams and fantasies with you.

Don't give up hope...
Be Honest


Does porn makes sex addict?

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